21 Mar ’22

"You all seem very British."

Inbox #11: 20 new messages


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From: xts
Subj: Star Trek : Voyager

How many boxes of Pot Noodles did Voyager have on board as emergency rations? What was the least favourite?

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From: Jim
Subj: Dying tourist

Noita

Hello. I enjoy playing this video game, Noita, once in a while. I'm not good at it, but I enjoy the various paths I end up going through on my way to disaster. I take screenshots of my journey, then write little annotations about them, like a tourist.

Please enjoy: Anoited

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From: xanadon't
Subj: Re: Who the hell are you?

Sysadmin @VOLEwtf wrote:

Simply click Reply below and introduce yourself to 3,500 people

I am just a person who enjoys film series that have convoluted sequel and/or remake chronologies and/or naming conventions, such as the Fast Saga, in which the fourth, fifth, and sixth films all take place before the third film and which follow no consistent naming conventions whatsoever.

You all seem very British.

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From: Toe Joe
Subj: Re: Who the hell are you?

Hi, my name is Toe Joe, I like to eat toes, I work at a toe-eating factory, my creepy neighbor (Tom Cruise) does not like to eat toes. :(

Yours truly, Toe Joe

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From: Obspogon
Subj: Re: Who the hell are you?

I like videogames. I'm currently setting up an emulation machine with Linux Mint.

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From: Tommy Mackay
Subj: Re: Who the hell are you?

I used to love the sitcom 'World Of Pub' and also love reggae. Imagine my surprise when I discovered an album called 'World Of Dub.' Well, of course, I had to mix the two together to produce 'World Of Rub A Dub' right here

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From: shrk
Subj: shrk

shrk

shrk is a highly explosive thing that can kill us all

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From: Hubert Huzzah
Subj: Probably an excerpt from an Opera

The Eaton Political Donation Song
(Part XVI: Taxation is for little people)

We all sat around
Digging for a pound
In someone else's pocket

We found what we sought
And then we were caught
By the owners of the pocket

Oh! No! Not Us!
Please make no fuss!
We merely checked thy pocket

(Enter Sycophants and Flunkies warbling sotto voce)

We are Eaton Furries of Downing Street
We swear we keep donations neat
We are diligent in our Downing ways
We only take when taking pays
Us Eaton Furries of Downing Street

(Exit Sycophants and Flunkies warbling sotto voce pursued by seals)

It is an excerpt from an Opera that has never been performed or scored by a composer but rattles around my head, now and again, pretending to be something halfway between Kurt Weil, Gilbert and Sullivan, Rocky Horror, and Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It is probably performed by a School Marching Band kidnapped from somewhere in the Midwest of America - which, as a bonus, saved them from the obligatory High School Shooting by enslaving them for Musical Theatre - and some alcoholic, down and out Opera Singers who have lost the will to live.

As it is Part Sixteen, there have been fifteen equally exercrable outbursts preceding it. It makes no sense and nobody really wants to have anything to do with it. It is, as most admit, best kept as an Imaginary Opera.

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From: sennydreadful
Subj: playstation nostalgia

Only twenty years late but I've started watching Wire in the Blood with Robson 'old blue eyes' Green. And what do I see in the first episode but my boi playing Tomb Raider on the playstation!

Now watching the whole series just in case we get a bit of Crash Bandicoot action. No sign yet.

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From: Kristoffer
Subj: Re: Scavenger Hunt: Win Your Own Private Island

Island on www.wilderness.land

After weeks of searching Wilderness Land for websites fitting the description of The Scavenger Hunt, I'm pleased to announce that we have a winner.

Thank you for everyone participating, and congratulations to Sarah for discovering the three treasures below:

  • A site with sounds of nature - At the east end of Scarstan Ave, jump in the sea and go 5 squares east, and 2 squares north. Here is a soundscape of a swamp.

  • A site with many colours - Then go to the little island SE of there, with trees and a lake. From the SW corner of the lake, go 4 squares west and find a garden with many different colours of trees.

  • A site with frustrations - The next island to visit is to the NEE and there's two rows of houses and a little forest in the NW. In the garden of the middle house, lower street, there is a website filled with frustrations as two friends try to arrange a good time to meet.

We are now in the process of reclaiming land for Sarah's private island.

With care,
Kristoffer

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From: Stew
Subj: Food Combinations

Strawberry oreos are the best means for conveying hummus from bowl to face. They even make hummus palatable to people who don't normally like it. I found this out several years ago with a friend, and nobody else believes us even though we weren't drunk.

Just don't use mint oreos. That's proper disgusting.

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From: Oily Bob
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: cheescake

Smash wrote:

I made a proper cheesecake the other week with eight tubs of Philadelphia...

... I mean yes I used the ones with garlic and chives in but that was all they had.

I fried my pancakes this past shrove in garlic and chilli oil. Would not recommend.

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From: Grumbla
Subj: Re: Floof Thread

Upside down floof

Furdinand wrote:

Hey hey, I have shared you my dearest floof. Please send pics of equal quality.

The Grumblesnouch is intrigued

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From: Lizzie
Subj: Re: Floof Thread

Winston

My dog Winston taking an afternoon nap on the couch.

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From: Feathers
Subj: people

People are awful
They argue and make faces
I wish they could just be nice
and smile and say "of course"
and share a cup of tea and a biscuit
But no... it's complaints and meetings
Sometimes I wish I wasn't a CEO

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From: Grey Beard
Subj: Kissing tips for people who want to kiss wolves

wolf

  1. Be sure to approach the wolf cautiously and slowly. Do not make any sudden movements or loud noises that may startle the animal.

  2. Offer the wolf a treat, such as a piece of meat or a favorite toy. This will help to create a positive association with you in the animal's mind.

  3. Gently stroke the wolf's fur and speak in a soft, calming voice.

  4. When the wolf seems relaxed, lean in and give the animal a gentle kiss on the muzzle.

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From: Stories+
Subj: the apocalypse - vol. 5

DAY THREE - December 22, 2011

Cody grips the metal baseball bat in his left hand as he opens the door with his right. He views the thing on the other side of the door, it's a human. It's a man, to be more specific. "Who are you?" asks Cody.

"My name is... Akakios. I've been watching the news-" Cody interrupts him "I don't care about the news, just get in here." Akakios walks in. Cody continues to grip the baseball bat. He raises it over his head and, decides otherwise, putting the baseball back next to the coatrack.

Akakios limps to the couch. Robin states clearly how he feels, "Who in the hell is this person?" "Akakios is my name, sir" he reaches out a hand to which Robin awkwardly shakes it. Akakios introduces himself to Cody, again, to Nathan, Chris, Jewel, and finally Mary.

Everyone adapts to this new man and eventually go to sleep. Akakios sleeps on the couch.

DAY FOUR - December 23, 2011

The news is on in the log home. Barack Obama is releasing a statement.

"I am locking down the state of California. No one will leave, and no one will enter. I am making this difficult decision on account of the many lives that could be harmed if I do not take this action. Many have... turned, I guess. But many more will die, and become one of the many infected with this, rabies-like disease. On both ends of California there will be 'lockdown' sites, there, for the next month the lively will be able to reside, be inspected for bites, scratches, anything that could've been caused by these animalistic-humans. Those will be quarantined. After that month, California will be either cleared out, but if too tremendous of a task it will be... bombed, destroyed. I believe this all started in Nevada, in an unknown lab in the desert. That lab will also be bombed, around tomorrow, and Nevada will be on lockdown for signs of the infection. Thank you all for listening. Goodbye, and may we help you all that are listening in California, and alive and well."

Akakios suddenly grips his ankle, he starts convulsing. "Is he okay?" Robin asks. Nathan is in the bathroom, but everyone is out here. Akakios turns quickly, the infection affects some faster than others. Robin runs upstairs, grabbing a hunting knife under his pillow. As he runs back downstairs, he trips.

Cody is already beating Akakios with his baseball bat. Akakios crunches. Robin trips halfway down the stairs, his knife slips, it falls blade up as his chest makes way, the knife in it's path. The home has broken into to quite some hell. Robin is leaning against the wall, breathing slowly, not ripping the handle out of chest to lead to a faster death. Cody is slamming the bat into the ground now, Akakios is already gone, just... disappeared because of Cody's actions. Mary and Chris are panicked, hugging each other in the kitchen. Jewel has started tending to Robin. Nathan is continuing to reside in the bathroom.

They're all ready to leave. But what will California reside inside itself for them?

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From: Zoha
Subj: ANime plEase

Demon slayer (i had to save a file for this)

Just a comment anybody wants some ramen and watch anime with?

got any favorite anime sujestions' mine are : Demmon slayer, naruto, Naruto shippuden, Boruto and bnha/mha

:-3

vole.wtf you should add anime in your site ween :) (yall agree right?) .

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From: Elsie the Seer
Subj: Re: Evil Goblin News

the goblins wrote:

...decline and you will be beset by misfortune. Sign of The Cursed: You will have a great day! Everything will go your way!

Sack your horoscope writer

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From: Yours,truly.
Subj: Invitation

You are invited to the No Trash gang, but no trash is allowed. So, I guess you can't come. OOOOOOOOOOOH

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