"these so-called 'meat pellets'"

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Inbox #74: 8 new messages

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From: Sysadmin
Subj: Move over, Mavis Beacon

Way back in the ’80s, some computer mags had BASIC listings you could type in. We’ve brought that back... but for web pages.

DOCTYPE magazine contains 10 amazing web apps to type in, including games, toys, puzzles and utilities. You don’t need any coding skills, and it’s nicely presented with illustrations and a glossy cover.

The perfect Christmas gift for all the family!

- Sysadmin

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From: anonymous
Subj: Raybees extension when?

Your Raybees font is pretty stylish, I like it. But are are you considering adding accents/diacritics to it? (e.g. á,ç,ñ,ü) It kinda sucks not being able to type them. Will you ever add those missing characters some day? I know I could modify them myself, but I don't have enough knowledge and confidence to so. Still a pretty vole.wtf font.

Sysadmin: we kept the font small and simple as it was originally for headings and buttons on an English-language site, but it’s a good suggestion, we should consider expanding it

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From: Sysadmin
Subj: Much crunching was heard across the land

The 4th Crisp Sandwich Day was another great culinary celebration, with people around the world enjoying sandwiches and sharing pics.

Next year it’s on a Sunday, so we’re hoping to organise some kind of Sunday lunch with crisp sandwiches representing various dishes/courses.

- Sysadmin

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From: Sid:)
Subj: Horses and circles

Not sure if this is a qualifying message but

1. I 100%ed I will strangle a horse
2. At school I had a assignment where we played this kahoot knockoff and they had straight up copied the can you draw a perfect circle game for a minigame, it's the exact same as the real game but now with a time limit and a tree background.

Sysadmin: we’ve spotted a few direct rip-offs but don’t own the game any more, it’s up to Neal to decide whether to send out the copyright ninja squads

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From: Bro
Subj: Sty Scraper

Do you think you guys can add a global leaderboard so smth for sty scraper? I wanna see how many people have beaten my high score of 10

Sysadmin: we’d love to have leaderboards for all our games... but they’d get overrun by cheats within minutes

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From: Brennan Falch
Subj: Guys, what's wrong with these pigs?

I seriously don't know what's going on here. Maybe a glitch in the game?

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From: Hello
Subj: Uhhhh, the thing isn't thinging.

It doesn't blur out these curse words.

Sysadmin: all of those words have non-sweary uses! We also omitted various highly offensive terms, it’s just a joke project

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From: The scholar of Daexriara
Subj: You said something about meat pellets?

In the previous newsletter, Sysadmin added a note saying that he/she/they have meat pellets. I am interested to see how well my dog's poo will perform in dog poo golf if I feed him these so-called "meat pellets". How much for sixteen thousand, eight hundred and ninety-two meat pellets, Sysadmin?

P.S. MAGIC IS REAL unintelligible rambling

Sysadmin: too late, Greggs snapped them up for their steak bakes

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