26 Aug ā25
"Is sleep really needed for life?"
Inbox #71
Inbox #71: 34 new messages
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From: Sysadmin
Subj: I want my VTV
Weāve made our own version of MTV, but for weird and terrible songs!
Hundreds of them!
Brace yourself, then start watching VTV
- Sysadmin
From: Confused Vmailer
Subj: Matt Round in way too many newspapers
Why do Matt Round's segments appear in every newspaper while others may not appear, it's not fair! It's time for REVOLUTION! AHHHH!
Sysadmin note: it gives him something harmless to do instead of wandering the streets bothering people
From: anonymous
Subj: Goats
I like the goats
From: Matt Muir
Subj: Vote for the Tiny Awards
Voting for the The Tiny Awards 2025 closes on 1 September - PICK YOUR FAVOURITE SMALL, PERSONAL WEBPROJECT TO WIN A TINY PRIZE! There are some great sites on here so check them out NOW!:
From: anonymous
Subj: Poooooocaaaaaan
So. Do you have a dog?
I have a dog. And it poos. Usually when Iām miles from a bin.
So on my Easter holidays I made the Poocan (rhymes with Toucan). Pop your dogsā stinky gifts in it while you enjoy the rest of your nice long walk.
People whoāve bought them, love them.
If you have a dog - and youāre not the kind of dickhead who lets it crap everywhere - you need a Poocan.
Use the code FRIENDOFVOLE for 20% off.
Sysadmin note: we donāt get any money from this and including this post is not an official endorsement of scooping dog poo into a special container
From: Crow
Subj: Cute dog!!
This dog is so cute!! For once he actually gives cuddles. Although he is cute, don't be deceived that he won't leave your comfy bed for food.
From: Charcoal
Subj: MY DOG
This is my Rocky he tried to eat my life savings meds :āŗ
From: Charcoal
Subj: MY CAT
Yes she is amazing also a little dummy that drug an entire rotisserie chicken up the stairs to give to me wall i was working so i could cut it up into smaller pieces
From: Gideon
Subj: Crisp Sandwiches and the prime minister
I think that whoever we elect next for prime minister has to be a devoted lover of crisp sandwiches. And we should ONLY vote for members of the newly formed crisp sandwich cult. Said sandwiches should also be made the official national food of England.
Thank you for these few seconds of your time.
Sincerely Gideon.
From: The Scholar of Daexriara
Subj: Fireball
Fireball. Really? Fire-ball? Ball of flames? You have the ENTIRE magical weave at your disposal and all you can think of is over the top candle? Lame. 2 out of 10. Occasionally useful, but disappointing.
This is part of a new series I'm hoping will work out where I rate DnD spells.
From: Dir. Shoop
Subj: [CONFIDENTIAL] op. "Freaky Fast" NOT FOR PUBLIC RELEASE
AGENCY: [DATA EXPUNGED]
DATE: 2025-07-18
SUBJECT: Ongoing Assessment of "Jimmy John's" Food Service Chain - Operation "FREAKY FAST"
CLASSIFICATION: TS/SCI - NOFORN - ORCON
I. EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
Initial intelligence strongly suggests the commercially branded "Jimmy John's" food service chain is operating as a front for illicit temporal displacement and dietary control experimentation. Designated "Operation FREAKY FAST," preliminary findings indicate a deliberate conditioning of the civilian populace towards future consumption methodologies and acceptance of non-linear temporal food delivery. The purported "sandwiches" serve as a vector for these highly sensitive operations.
II. OPERATIONAL OVERVIEW - "FREAKY FAST" CONSPIRACY:
A. Temporal Displacement & Delivery Vector ("Freaky fast")
Intelligence indicates "Jimmy John's" delivery speeds are anomalous, exceeding known logistical capabilities. Analysis suggests the deployment of localized, miniature "temporal rifts" to transport products from preparation points to consumers instantly. This method accounts for the extraordinary freshness, as the product is effectively "pulled" from a recent past temporal signature. Data modeling predicts a 99.8% efficiency rate, far surpassing that of conventional transport.
B. Chrono-Dietary Engineering & Control ("No Substitutions"):
The stringent "no substitutions" policy is assessed not as a commercial limitation, but as a critical operational safeguard. The pre-determined sandwich configurations are hypothesized to be precisely calibrated for maximum temporal sta-------DATA STREAM TERMINATED
!!!ABNORMALITY DETECTED!!!
SYSTEM ALERT: CODE 7 - UNAUTHORIZED DEVICE DETECTED ON SECURE NETWORK.
CLASSIFICATION BREACH IMMINENT.
INITIATING PROTOCOL: CHARLIE-6
DATA CORRUPTION COMMENCING.
From: Gamewoods
Subj: Proggraming Platforms
Hello, I am a new game developer and I cant choose which engine to work with.
Do you have any ideas? (Also I know Python VERY well so I would prefer an engine that uses Python)
From: Matt Round
Subj: The Best Film Youāve Never Seen
No. 29: The Silent Partner (1978)
In this Canadian thriller based on a Danish novel, Christopher Plummerās bank robbery goes very wrong, resulting in a tense cat-and-mouse conflict with bank teller Elliott Gould.
Itās one of those grimy ā70s films where everyone is up to no good and seemingly ordinary people slip deeper and deeper into crime, thereās no saintly āgoodieā to root for.
Gould is so laidback he can seem weirdly detached, but that works for the character, while Plummer gets to ham it up as the sadistic killer. Susannah York and Celine Lomez donāt get such interesting roles, but are also immersed in the moral murkiness.
This first film from Carolco (Rambo films, Total Recall, Terminator 2, Basic Instinct, etc) was well-received, winning awards in Canada, but smaller ā70s films tend to get overlooked nowadays vs the cinema-redefining blockbusters of that era. This oneās clever enough to be well worth watching; crime does pay.
In the US, The Silent Partner is apparently on Kanopy. It doesnāt seem to be available on streaming at all in the UK, but you can get it on disc and it shows up on TV occasionally.
From: Hunter #412
Subj: Re: i plorp
big wrote:
breaking news a plorp has been spotted at 65.57684.3223!
Investigated. No signs found. Resume normal status
From: E.N. (A Human being from Earth(hopefully))
Subj: Yo! Hereās yo newsletter!
Yo! For your entertainment we have categorized stuff so yeah!
āFunā websites:
Cool/Interesting websites:
cnn.com/...best-space-photos-2022/index.html
ohsu.edu/...the-64-Toughest-Interview-Questions.pdf
radio.garden/visit/houghton-mi/DKqNvAkD
musiclab.chromeexperiments.com/
Thank you for your time! I hope you enjoy these websites! Hereās a bonus kinda cool one too:
Bye yalll!!!!!
From: The inventor
Subj: Invention Logs #2
Hello future and current inventors!
This is the second of many inventions carefully engineered and tested to perfection by yours truly. Last time we talked about hand slippers but today we got something a little different in store for you, the reader. This logs invention is the Weightless Weights(TM)! This creation allows you seem to be able to lift weights twice your size when in reality, youāre merely lifting something the weight of a small bean bag. With the Weightless Weights(TM), youāll be able to impress the bros and get the girls for just 59.99. However, some may ask what if someone else wants to lift the Weightless Weights(TM)? Well dear viewer, with a click of a secret button, the atoms inside these weights will multiply, increasing the density and weight of said weights in a mere 0.48 seconds. Last time the Hand Slippers (TM) sold out in one day so make sure to get the Weightless Weights(TM) fast for 59.99. See ya next time on Invention Logs and remember to always keep inventing, investing, and innovating!
(There have recently been a large group of clients who have complained of their Hand Slippers(TM) coming to life and crawling into the walls of their houses similar to that one hand from the Adamās Family. In case of this happening, lure the slippers out with socks and then squirt lemon juice on the nails of the slippers which will cause them to return to normal or mutate into a full human body. Hope this helps!)
From: Willow
Subj: Sleep? SCOFF
Is sleep really needed for life? I think not. I believe I can do many more things when I am not unconscious personally. I like strawberrys :)
From: Lou
Subj: some goth music recs
goth is a music and values based subcultures. basically, if you don't like the music and share the values (progressive politics, inclusive, no conservatives), you're a poser. the typical goth look is just convention, goths can look however we want. the music originated in the UK as a branch of punk - that era's known as 'post punk', but since then, goth has expanded to include dark wake, gothic rock, gothabilly, industrial goth, and more. the first ever 'goth' song is generally considered Bauhaus' bela lugosi's dead: a minimalistic post-punk instrumental with lyrics so undeniably gothic it set off a whole movement.
here are some essential goth tracks:
bauhaus(my all-time favs) (sharp guitar, minimalistic instrumentals, lots of yelling, manic at times, experimental): bela lugisi's dead, dancing, the sanity assassin, in the flat field, a god in an alcove, st vitus dance, muscle in plastic
siouxsie and the banshees (art pop esque, theatrical): monitor, spellbound, dear prudence, helter skelter, killing jar
the cure (soft electric guitar, prose, strained vocals): just like heaven, boys don't cry, close to me, in between days, why can't i be you
the cramps (degenerate subject matter lol, gothabilly, lots of fun): goo goo muck, aloha from hell, cramp stomp, eyeball in my martini, queen of pain
london after midnight (real dramatic, glam, pretty sexual): inamourada, sacrifice, your best nightmare, i'm no angel
specimen (glam rock, 'death bowie'): lovers, hex, kiss kiss bang bang, beauty of poisin, syria
joy division (warm, gloomy, soft rock): love will tear us apart, disorder, shadowplay, digital
From: space_monkey
Subj: Re: Music?
JFRU! wrote:
What is your favourite music artist?
Mine is the Red Hot Chili Peppers!
the clash is the only band that matters
From: Zeke
Subj: Re: Music?
I donāt really have a favorite but I s do like enter sandman by Metallica
And I like A lot of songs by linkin park
From: Mina
Subj: Re: Music?
Vesna - a fun Czech pop band
From: JcatTV
Subj: Re: Music?
I really like the Beatles
From: Stowaway
Subj: Re: Music?
Personally, if I absolutely had to pick a favorite music artist, I would pick The Mechanisms! Queer sci-fi story album retellings of popular mythology and fairy tales! However I also really like The Crane Wives and Epic the Musical (by Jorge Rivera-Herrans)
From: anonymous
Subj: Re: Music?
Really? Mineās this really unknown indie band I bet youāve never even heard about cuz theyāre not like super mainstream like that crap those people listen to nowadays
Itās called āArtic Monkeysā
From: Hydro
Subj: Re: Music?
My favorite music artist is green day!
From: vi
Subj: Re: Music?
Mine is The Misfits (it changes tho)
From: Your name (optional)
Subj: Re: Music?
My favorite music artist is the band called Five Finger Death Punch!
From: anonymous
Subj: Re: Music?
BLACPKINK
From: anonymous
Subj: Re: Music?
AJR BROTHERS
especially Maybe Man
From: EmotionalSide
Subj: spread the sound
HEY! I hear you like music if so I have a few recommendations from one autistic person to another human or not, lets start my list with a few that you can find practically anywhere! first of glass beach! I love there music quite a lot so if you enjoy them yay! second up is The Recovery System, I found them after they made music for one of my fav games blocktales! third up is my personal favorite and that is (drumroll please) ..... CHONNY JASH <-- this guy in my opinion is so cool, he has made covers for tally hall, will wood, tim minchin, the handsome devil and plenty of solo songs, my fave song from him has to be dream if you cant tell by my name lol if you found joy in any of these songs/artists please come find me on tumblr (emotionalsid3) and have a lovely day
From: anonymous
Subj: IDNTT
yooo lowk can we promote idntt?? theyāre a new group (debuted like 2 days ago) and their music is fire!! (fave song is adolescence super chillll song) their concept is pretty unique they currently have 7 members but their company is planning for the full group to have 24 members ik crazy right?? anyways idnttāa first subunit unevermet just released their first album <unevermet> with 7 songs but three of the them are considered title songs: younevermet, storm and BOYtude. fans vote for which one becomes the SUPER title track which will be unvermetās concept going forward. everyone vote for boytude so it wins and i can claim my free objekt (vole team google what an idntt objekt lowk too lazy to explain) ā¦ anyways idntt are super nugu (underrated/unknown) and are at risk of losing their jobs to the point that MODHAUS are making them work minimum wage at a cafe to pay the bills (as attached in image) so please consider supporting their music
From: Lillian
Subj: Hiiii
Wassup peeps
Book recs for girls 12-15!!!!
Percy Jackson by Rick riordian
The luckiest girl by Beverly clearly
Coo by noel
Gold Rush girl by Avi
Thanks for reading!!!!!!!!!
Byee
From: anonymous
Subj: my breakfast is THE BEST
From: CH4RC04L!! >U<
Subj: HAIII HAIUI
EEEEEE HAIII HAIII UAUAHSUAU IM SOOO GLAD TO MEET U GUYSSS NOW CAN YOU SIGN THIS PAPERRRR??? ITS FOR A FRIEND OF MINE AS A GET WELL SOON :3
Disclaimer: I am doing this purely of free will. I am not working for a blue number of any kind.
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