07 Apr ’25

"triangles are the superior shape"

Inbox #66: 35 new messages

From: Sysadmin
Subj: We’re going to rearrange your face

Selfie Shuffle

That webcam in front of you isn’t just for boring video meetings, now you can turn it into a surprisingly fiendish sliding puzzle

Do the Selfie Shuffle

- Sysadmin

From: ???
Subj: the end

"the end is near and yet so far on 2025 it shall strike on may 15th 2:54 am BE THERE at 1:00"

Does anyone else remember this? Who's gonna be there?

From: Sid:)
Subj: what have I found

Silly site

I found this page at fax.vole.wtf, i saw silly link in email conf and found this page, what does it mean, maybe we will never know, Maybe sisadmin will tell us Maybe the sun will explode tomorrow, Maybe

Sysadmin note: this is the hardware Vmail runs on, kindly donated by Sir Alan Sugar

From: One flip flop Phil
Subj: APRIL 1 !!!!!!!!!

TODAY I WILL SHAKE A POP CAN AND ASK 4 HELLP TO OPEN IT
AND THEN I WILL SAY THAT MY CAT DIED (PRANK OFC)
AND TELL ME WUT YALL R DOING FOR EASTER. JK APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!!
HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAAHAHA

From: cowjam
Subj: Re: OWL?

anonymous wrote:

Visited nature reserve they handed out a map and circled area to warn us about a man wearing owl mask seen sitting in trees ?!!
?

Who?

From: i_just_like_owls
Subj: Re: OWL?

that uh..that definitely wasn’t me.
wouldn’t catch me wearing one of those.
or going into trees.

From: Vole.wtf Enjoyer
Subj: what do you all think of my tower?

tower

From: Matt Round
Subj: The Best Film You’ve Never Seen

Perfect Sense (2011)

No. 25: Perfect Sense (2011)

This film is a bit of a mess, largely thanks to the decision to have clunky narrated sequences explaining events and meaning. An interesting concept with good actors and touching scenes that could’ve been better. Ah well.

But wait, I’m not trying to waste your time! Because the impact of this film was transformed by world events 9 years after its release.

There’s a pandemic that starts by robbing you of your sense of smell. Businesses are hit hard and have to scramble to cope. People struggle with loss and anxiety while finding ways to carry on living. Masks. Ringing any bells?

Watch it to process the last 5 years in a new way, or just to see Eva Green and/or Ewan McGregor looking sad and beautiful.

In the US it seems Perfect Sense is on a few streaming/rental services; in the UK it’s harder to find a legit copy, only spotted it to buy on AppleTV or disc

From: Dingo
Subj: Movies

Poster for Girl, Interrupted (film)

Whats a movie you've seen recently? I myself recently watched girl, interrupted, which is a movie about a girl going into a psych ward due to a suicide attempt, and i really liked it.

From: Baker's Apprentice
Subj: Re: Bread

Bread lover wrote:

Oh my gods love bread. I love everything about bread. I love loafs, toast, teleporting bread especially. I. Love. Bread. I think more people should appreciate bread!

HI! I also love bread and wish people appreciated it more. Have you tried challah? it is a traditional Jewish sweet bread, very fluffy and tasty, often eaten with honey. Also it looks super pretty, since its a braided loaf. Made some recently and it was delicious.Just a friendly recommendation from one bread lover to another!

From: The bread god
Subj: Re: Bread

I also LOVE bread! nice to meet a fellow bread lover!

From: Bread lover
Subj: Return of the Bread

I hope you have all considered my last message. Bread is worth it! Bread is god, bread is life and bread makes everything in life worth living for. A bread church should become a thing, anyone interested?

Bread.

Here are a few of my personal favourite breads ever:

baguettes
toast bread
brioche bread

Please share your thoughts and feelings about Bread, it would be greatly appreciated.

From: Bread hater
Subj: Re: Bread

Oh my sHRIMP hate bread so much. I hate EVERYTHING about bread. I hate LOAFS, TOAST, TELEPORTING BREAD especially. I. Hate. Bread. I think more people should HATE BREAD!!!1!1!1!1

From: Tsvics003
Subj: Less play YuGiOh with custom cards

Custom card

Less plae YuGiOh via custom cards in Vmail cuz why not

From: Queen Mozzarella of Swissland
Subj: Alliances

Dear Esteemed Cheese Lords and Kings,
I hope this message finds your curds in good spirits. I come to you as an admirer of cheesy excellence, with a proposal for an alliance and a plea for a place on the prestigious cheese council.
As you know, cheese is the most delightful and versatile of foods, and I would be honored to have the opportunity to work alongside the greatest cheese lovers in the world. Together, we could spread the joy of cheese far and wide, and create a world where cheese is celebrated and cherished.
With much admiration and respect,
Queen Mozzarella of Swissland

From: Cheese Lord Kendra
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: marriage

Chesius the almighty wrote:

Dear Cheesy Greatness, I noticed your proposal to (whom it may concern) and realised that I'm painfully single. Would you be willing to switch up your proposal to me instead. Grateful for you love

Bonjour Chesius the Almighty, I am quite concerned that you are attempting to break up my marriage; this is futile. Please give up, you homewrecker.

From: Alex of Parmesan
Subj: The cheese court

Swiss cheese

Dear Cheese Lord Kendra and King Cheesus,

I am a new email subscriber, and I would be grateful if I would be allowed to join the almighty Cheese Court as the Cheese Court Artist. See attached some of my best work.

Yours sincerely,

Alex of Parmesan

From: anonymous
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: marriage

Cheese lord Kendra wrote:

Yes I would love to marry you

I’ve bought a hat

From: Silas Birchtree
Subj: Re: Really confused

Confused wrote:

... I rambling about wolves. Who am I? Who is Sysadmin? WHY IS THERE A TRIANGLE CULT? So many questions, so little answers.

Listen, the triangle cult is superior because triangles are the superior shape, seeing as they have three sides and everyone knows three is the magic number. If you feel listless and confused in life, just join us in our triangle cult. We can help you find purpose in life (:

From: Your average citizen
Subj: Re: Hi

Z wrote:

Hi people I just wanted to say hello and I'm wondering how you found this site. For American citizens how did you find this because I don't think it is? anyways goodbye!

I’m not even from an english speaking country and i’m subscribed to this. How I became aware of this website? I have no idea.

Probably came upon me in a nightmare, leaving me sweating and confused, staring at my ceiling while the words “vole.wtf” echoed in my mind.

From: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )
Subj: video game annoucment

monkey

I 3d modeled this monkey, and I will try to develop an open-world game with the monkey as the player.

would appreciate any feedback or ideas for the game.

by the time you're seeing this I might be finished with the game since these Vmails takes an eternity to get published.

(•‿•)

From: The_Will_Guy
Subj: Chess

I recently reached 1500 elo rating in chess, I think that was a huge achievement. And so…

Pray, good sir or madam, dost thou partake in the noble game of chess?

From: Ciccio
Subj: I don't know

this is my Tetris Record

this is my Tetris Record
I'm using google translate because I'm italian, see you soon! :)

From: animal physics game enthusiast
Subj: petris

el rat who thumbs up at the idea of petris

Tetris, but pets.
The animal physics game saga must continue.
I mean, we can basically do the Watermelon Game capitalised for dramatic effect but with pet images, right? You can, right?
I would have done it myself and made my own website and tried to sell it to you for some obscene amount like 100 crisp sandwiches, but alas, my coding skills range from printing Hello World in Python to printing Hello World in C++, not printing Hello World in HTML.
Also, we need a price for Styscraper also capitalised for dramatic effect, I'm sure Neal Agar.io would appreciate it!

From: anon
Subj: hmmm

in highschool and idk how to deal with studying, i have 2 hrs of tutoring every day and i study for every test and assignment, but im tired as heck, how do i stop burning out? freshman year wasnt that great academically, im a sophomore now

From: FacuIsInSecretCheeseInTottalyGuy
Subj: Theory

Tue Tue Legend (ITS SCARY SORRY!)

Legend has it that the chon-chon is an evil presence that is greatly feared in rural and urban areas (although less likely) of Chile. The fear of this creature is due to the fact that it would actually be a Calcu (a Mapuche who practices evil with spirits), or a powerful witch or wizard who knows the secret of the Calcu about the mysterious power of flying transformed into the feared Chon-chón.

The Calcu or wizard/witch would transform into Chon-chón by spreading a magic cream on his throat.

This magic cream would cause the head to detach from the rest of the body or the latter, acquiring plumage, sharp claws and large ears that would transform into wings to be able to fly; and if he wishes and is powerful, he could even perform a complete transformation to acquire the form of a kind of owl. In this way he could leave the body at home and easily carry out his evil activities.

In the case of wizards or witches, at the moment of beginning the flight they would also recite the following phrase: Without God or Saint Mary, with which the devil would grant them more power, in order to achieve this transformation; but if they made a mistake and recited other words, they would suffer a great fall.

When the cucu transforms leaving its body at home, it must always remember that it is necessary to have another magical ointment to return to its human form. If its ointment were lost, hidden or destroyed, the Chonchón would fly in a nosedive towards the ground to kill itself, since it would not bear the fate of being transformed forever into Chonchón; and on the ground there would only be the corpse of an owl.

The transformation to Chonchón would always be carried out at night, although its presence would be revealed by its fateful and feared cry of "tué, tué". The main objective of the transformation into Chonchón would be to obtain agility to move. In this way they would go to the meetings that these types of calcu or witches would hold. Just like Chonchón, they would go around the places where they wanted to cause harm or illness, hovering around the house, or in the worst case, they would enter the sick person's room, where they would fight with the sick person's spirit; so that the latter cannot protect itself and so the Chonchón can calmly suck its blood; which in a short time could cause the death of the sick person if action was not taken quickly. That is why when the peasants hear the persistent cries of tué, tué, it means that the hated Chonchón has come out to announce that a future death of a loved one may occur.

From: the guy
Subj: plants vs zombies

a screenshot of the sunflower from the music video for plants vs zombies song “zombies on your lawn”

when I was a kid I had a crush on the sunflower from the plants vs zombies “zombies on your lawn” music video

From: Boris
Subj: My drawing

Look at this drawing I did

This is a drawing

From: Barry
Subj: I want you to blog!

Get off the social media a bit and write some longer posts on a blog. I want you to. Lots of people want you to!

Of course, this is self serving because I think pika.page is the easiest way to blog. Zero-to-blog in under a minute!

But you don’t have to use Pika. Use whatever! If you’ve even had a slight thought about blogging, please go for it!

From: No need for help :D
Subj: Made some friends

The dogs I found!!!

I was walking along this path when 2-3 large brown dogs approached me. (Showed above.) They were very cute and i decided to pet them. They started to snap at me and tried to bite me but i told them i do not consent. I think that worked. I'm working on training them right now and soon i can take them to my neighborhood dog park. Remember kids! If you do not consent, just say so!!!

From: jojo_doodle
Subj: strange creature invading household

An image of my dog sitting on our chair in front of the window.