19 Aug â24
"cry because sad and have no burgr"
Inbox #60
Inbox #60: 33 new messages
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From: Sysadmin
Subj: Better than the metaverse
Forget spending hundreds or thousands on fancy VR headsets, find some of those cheap cardboard red/cyan glasses and experience a new dimension in gameplay:
Dog Poo Golf now has 3D support! (yes, it actually works)
- Sysadmin
P.S. Weâre probably not going to include any more posts that feature email addresses, it feels a bit dodgy to be encouraging people to contact strangers in a way that might immediately give away some personal info
From: :)
Subj: IMPORTANT
If you are reading this message you are recruited as a gnome. Help us win against the knights. We trust you to fight and honor this title.
However, if you are a knight, ..screw you.
DOWN WITH THE KNIGHTS
LONG LIVE THE GNOMES!!!
- A gnome
From: KZ
Subj: hi!
I've been very bored recently, so I've been going on random sites, and I found this one! The image is something I drew because bored.
From: Goose_in_pants
Subj: Re: Re: i forgot i signed up
acoolguy wrote:
i forgot i signed up on this website and thought i accidentally subscribed to some kind of game lol
we have all been there :D
From: Jamal
Subj: Is this a scam
Pls don't scam me. I have a family. be honest is this a scam or am i getting hacked.
From: Saru
Subj: Re: Re: i forgot i signed up
acoolguy wrote:
i forgot i signed up on this website and thought i accidentally subscribed to some kind of game lol
literally almost the same for me
i thought my email was pwned and i was subscribed to 8102837 scam letters, then saw the Vmail logo, and thought like: 'Oh. I think I forgor something.'
Anyway, the things here are somewhat cool, so i guess i'll stay subscribed a lil longer
From: gg man 1000
Subj: Re: Re: i forgot i signed up
i have forgotten too i font check my email very much so when i found this i thought i was getting spam thank god i read it.
Sysadmin note: does ANYONE remember what they signed up for?!
From: Jenna Appleseed
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Praise Be The Hyphen
Britney Bestie wrote:
kisses and threats
said Evil Ringo
From: the one and only ben
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Praise Be The Hyphen
Britney Bestie wrote:
I hereby rebrand the Girlypop Cult as a Sparkle Slay RELIGION, not a non-violent cult. Slayyyyyyy. kisses and threats from Britney Bestie. <<3
This is not very girlypop of them.
From: Britney Bestie
Subj: Cult CALASIFICATAION
I have done some sparkly research. <333
We are are cult.
Wikipedia never lies.
love you lots babeses (except the 'cult counsel')
Britney
From: THE GEESE CULT LEADER - Aoun
Subj: I declare the existence of The Gese Clut!
The Geese Cult or The Goose Gang! Both are same.
WE ARE HERE TO SHOW EVERY CULT WHO WE ARE! WE ARE GEESE WE ARE GEESE, We Would like to get members to fight with the geese! against the others.
WE AE TAKING EVERYTHING SERIOUSLY EVERYTHING. SPAM GEESE PICTURES!!!!!
WE DECLARE WAR ON EVERYONE AHHHH!!!
btw the goose picture up is made by me. :3
-Great Leader of geese
-discord - noturaoun
From: Mysterious duck
Subj: Quack
Quack
From: anonymous
Subj: quack
Quack, quack quack!
From: Dick enjoyer
Subj: Re: The Best Film Youâve Never Seen
Matt Round wrote:
No. 18: Aniara (2018) Aboard a luxury spaceship taking people from a declining Earth to Mars, a woman operates the ...
Yeah well, that sounds like "A Maze of Death" by Philip K. Dick, but longer and with extra steps. "A Maze of Death" is indeed not very long. It is really good though, and you should drop everything right now and go and read it. Not infants though, infants can't read.
Go and read it before it becomes the next Netflix or Amazon thing, too.
From: Matt Round
Subj: The Best Film Youâve Never Seen
No. 19: The Girl with All the Gifts (2016)
OK, time for another one that shouldnât qualify for this feature. Itâs based on a bestselling novel (written in parallel with the script), was nominated for a BAFTA, and has a cast that includes Glenn Close, Paddy Considine and Gemma Arterton.
But... it completely flopped on release, getting little attention, so we had a cinema screen to ourselves. It still seems oddly obscure; even those who are into horror/sci-fi usually havenât bothered. Theyâre missing out.
Yes, itâs a zombie film with the traditional tropes plus a nasty dollop of The Last of Us fungal horror, but it has a tone of its own that works, a wonderfully unsettling soundtrack and a fearless/fearsome lead performance from Sennia Nanua, who makes the exploration of identity and humanity work.
There are bits that might seem silly, and one joke that will make you groan. Sadness is more pervading than horror (largely thanks to Arterton). The ending is perfect.
If youâve seen 28 Weeks Later or The Last of Us, you definitely shouldâve seen this by now. Sort it out.
The Girl with All the Gifts can be rented/bought from Apple/Amazon/Microsoft/Sky/etc
From: The Bad Movie Guy
Subj: A bad movie I watched
So me and mother have a tradition of watching a good amount of great movies then finding 1 that's really bad. Now there's an occasion where we watch a movie we think will be good and it just isn't and this is one of those occasions. The movie company A24 has made some of the greatest movies I've ever watched (EEAAO is one of the best things I've ever watched) anyway they made a few bad movies I've seen but im only gonna be talking about one right now
DRUM ROLL PLEASE
BEAU IS AFRAID
Now don't get me wrong beau is afraid isn't one of the worst movies ever made far from it but it's pretty bad. The visuals and the looks of everything are beautiful and really well made but everything just felt so random. There was a lot of just empty moments and parts where he was genuinely just running. I want give spoilers but the ending is so... boring? I watched this guys other movie midsummer and I genuinely fell asleep and so did my mother
Overall I'd say beau afraid is a good watch if you want a pretty movie that's very long and boring.
And don't watch the trailer. The trailer makes it look better then it is
(Matt Rounds post gave me the idea for this post)
Reply to this if you want more bad movies I got a list of like 23 and this is nowhere near the worst of them
From: Heathers fanatic
Subj: Heathers 1989
Greetings and salutations!
This is a formal invitation for you to watch the 1989 cult classic Heathers!
It's a great movie and i hope you will enjoy it as much as i do :)
From: Saru
Subj: Re: Have a good day!
Remyy wrote:
I really love and support you even i dont know who you are stranger. I hope you have a good day when you see this in your mailbox!!Send my luck from Japan!
ăăă㨠ăăăăžăŁă!
I hope i wrote it correct, i do not know Japanese well enough, and am currently learning
From: Net02
Subj: Re: Have a good day!
Wow, ăăăă¨ă pal! I'm trying to learn Japanese as well. Have a nice day/afternoon/evening!
From: Saru
Subj: Languages and Learning
Hello fellow Vmailers! (Is that a thing? Well it is now)
I've been learning 2 languages for a few months, ans started to wonder, how other people's experiences are.
So may I encourage you, to answer the the questions and tell the Internet and the other Vmailers:
What languages do you speak? Are you fluent in them?
What languages are you currently learning? What are your experiences?
Which tips do you have for beginners to start learning a new language?
For me, the answers would be:
- German (fluent), English (fluent), Turkish (a bit rusted lol)
- Spanish (it a cool lang :D), Turkish (need to regain knowledge), Japanese (Anime and stuff, yk?)
For Turkish, it's pretty easy, no wonder because I can already speak it.
Spanish is also pretty easy right now, I am not that far at this moment.
Japanese is kinda hard, especially remembering the Kanjis and their meanings, idk maybe i'm just bad. - Find an online pdf workbook (yk, you'll just get 'em of the Internet), lesen the basics and some vocabulary and then start watching easy videos of your chosen language. Important thing is, to either not use subtitles or subtitles in the foreign language, and stop evetytime you can't figure out a word/sentence to look it up. Best thing would be, if you have a friend, that's native in your desired language, to talk with him.
Anyways, that'll be it from me, and a big Thank You! to anyone who took his time to read this far and maybe answer.
Until next time!
From: thethingyoubreathein
Subj: need help with the ipa
is /ç/ plosive or fricative???
From: anonymous
Subj: Re: hotdogs
Dingo wrote:
rise up hotdog lovers ^_^
have you ever had the vegetarian hot dog from ikea?
you should have the vegetarian hot dog from ikea
From: gg man 1000
Subj: Re: hotdogs
i do not like hot dogs go down you hot dog lovers and hot dog haters arise!
From: Hot Dog Hater
Subj: Re: hotdogs
Hot dogs are VILE just look at that one video on the show "How it's made" and you'll never eat them again
From: ColdWetSocks
Subj: Burgr
This is your eating a burgr, you enjoy it and wish you had another burgr. Sadly you don't and cry because sad and have no burgr. Then me appear and give you another burgr which makes you very happy and you eat burgr I gave you. But you still hunger and look at me, I suddenly look liek a burgr and you try to eat me. I run away and you chase burgr me until I tired and I have no where to go. I scared and try tell you I not a burgr but you still try to eat me. Bad ending: You devoured me but realized I was not burgr.
From: Not bob
Subj: Bob
Bob is the most bĂĄsica name ever whos hĂĄs a Chile for 9 moths and namea It bob
From: Dodo distribution INC
Subj: Time traveller Monthly NO.1
______ __ __ __ ______
/\__ _/\ \/\ "-./ \/\ ___\
\/_/\ \\ \ \ \ \-./\ \ \ __\
\ \_\\ \_\ \_\ \ \_\ \_____\
______/______/_______/\_____________ __ __ ______ ______
/\__ _/\ == \/\ __ \/\ \ / /\ ___\/\ \ /\ \ /\ ___\/\ == \
\/_/\ \\ \ __<\ \ __ \ \ \'/\ \ __\\ \ \___\ \ \___\ \ __\\ \ __<
\ \_\\ \_\ \_\ \_\ \_\ \__| \ \_____\ \_____\ \_____\ \_____\ \_\ \_\
\/_/ \/_/ /_/\/_/\/_/\/_/ \/_____/\/_____/\/_____/\/_____/\/_/ /_/
/\/\ ___ _ __ | |_| |__ | |_ _
/ \ / _ \| '_ \| __| '_ \| | | | |
/ /\/\ | (_) | | | | |_| | | | | |_| |
\/ \/\___/|_| |_|\__|_| |_|_|\__, |
|___/NO.1 CHRONO YEAR:HOLOCENE-ZZB BORING YEAR:2024
welcome to the first (or maybe last depending on your perception) edition of time traveller monthly, a new digital newsletter/magazine/mistake about everything time travel! wether it's delorian or type-40, vortex manipulator or phone booth. you'll be sure to find it here!
Interview
To celebrate the launch of our newsletter, we interviewed a 21st century astrophysicist to see what he had to say...
US:Ah, Peter Krykazotzkeyakay, thank you for joining us
HIM:please, just call me john
US:so, what do you think about this publication?
HIM: i think it is a great comedy magazine! from the copy i've read it seems pretty good!
US:sorry... comedy magazine?
HIM:yes! it is hilarious! after all, everybody knows people can't actually time travel
US:i'm sorry, but we are a serious publication, have you even heard of timestream physics? atom predictability?
HIM:ha! such funny words that mean nothing!
US:...
HIM:...
US:...
HIM:you mean you're serious?
US: yes john, we are
HIM:o-oh my god, this changes science forever! i had vuge theories of something like this but if it's true... oh my god the possibilities the-
US:(hey wait, thwrong! it isn't 2044... it's 2024!)
HIM:-a-and we could change so much with so-
US:hey, john! buddy! would you mind if you could just step outside for a bit?
HIM:sure i don't see the...(screaming)
US:(we went back in time to alter the floor we were on, before it was floor 1, now it's floor 6!)
!PSA!
please do not buy any cheap black market time travel devices. these devices cut costs by transporting you in time, but not in space. it's becoming really annoying having to hide time traveller bodies from radar.
But how do people time travel? (Part 1)
usually this question would result in a memory wipe and/or premature death, but we'll tell it to all nontraveller readers as long as they promise to keep it a secret from untrustworthy people, Ka'Koth, god of the underrealm and anyone named jeff woods. with that out of the way, the first thing you'll need is a time travel machine. there's a long list of potential machines, such as the chronomaster 9, butterfly X, or even the ooga booga MCXVI (the one remaining artifact from a incident involving time mist, a reverse lobotomy and a lot of cavemen). once you've made your choice, simply carve it's name out on a block of limestone along with today's date. a man in a cloak standing conspicuousl close to a wardrobe will then give you the device, provided you have the sufficient aceint irish gold coins to pay (don't ask us why but this is the currency of time travellers).
NEXT TIME-how do i even use this?
QNA
This is the section where you (yes you, not him, you) can ask us anything about anything time travel by simply replying to the current issue, and we will try our best to answer it in the next issue
example question:
question by username123
Q-why are you so unfunny?
A-:(
From: Dingo
Subj: NEPHEW'S DRAWING
Rate my nephew's drawing of me :-)
From: IDK
Subj: give me some skibidilicous lore
I realised I missed out on so much, can I learn about the lore of Vmail?
(image unrelated)
Sysadmin note: thereâs an archive you can trudge through if you want to experience the full horror/tedium
From: bemo
Subj: world history tee hee
I dare you to describe world history in just 4 words.
For example:
"KNOCK KNOCK. IT'S EUROPE."
From: Dingo
Subj: Re: "People Emailed me some WEIRD Things..."
Funny but Cringy wrote:
After stumbling across Vmail I read just a few messages and decided I had to make a YouTube video where read the ...
i really enjoyed watching your video! :-)
From: majonsasseee lover
Subj: Re: "People Emailed me some WEIRD Things..."
MINE IS INCLUDEEEED!!!!
From: space goat
Subj: conspiracy conjectures
since everyone seems to be in a conspiracy-y mood lately, reply to this with your favorite conspiracy theory
Sysadmin note: Our favourite conspiracy theory is that sysadmin writes every Vmail post
STARES OUT OF EMAIL APP
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