28 Jul ’24
"that is not so sparkle"
Inbox #59
Inbox #59: 23 new messages
Write a message for the next inbox
From: Sysadmin
Subj: Pam Ayres tried to warn us
We’ve taken real UK government dental data and made a thing to let you compare your gnashers with the average for your age:
- Sysadmin
From: acoolguy
Subj: Re: i forgot i signed up
i forgot i signed up on this website and thought i accidentally subscribed to some kind of game lol
From: Funny but Cringy
Subj: "People Emailed me some WEIRD Things..."
After stumbling across Vmail I read just a few messages and decided I had to make a YouTube video where read the funniest messages I've seen. I talked about crisp sanwiches being stuck to doors, 50% off all lard, canva ladies, and of course the cults.
If you're interested in watching it and seeing if I read one of your messages I'd love for you to go watch:
People Emailed me some WEIRD Things...
From: Hyphen cult
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Praise Be The Hyphen
The Counsel of the Cults wrote:
The Counsel of the Cults would like to extend an invitation to join to both the Ginger Clan and the Hyphen Cult. Sadly, ...
...Please note that forms of violence include sticking crisps to people’s doors and telling outrageously horrible jokes.)
as a representative and social media coordinator and founder i gratefully accept this invitation where shall we contact you
we now have a official email: HyphenCult at protonmail dot com
for those who wish to contact us
From: anonymous
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Praise Be The Hyphen
I am afraid to say the Girlypops will not surrender <3
xx
- A member of the cult
From: Britney Bestie
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Praise Be The Hyphen
The Girlypops are not slayedly pleased with this. Your definition of 'Cult' seems to be broken, that is not so sparkle. I hereby rebrand the Girlypop Cult as a Sparkle Slay RELIGION, not a non-violent cult. Slayyyyyyy. kisses and threats from Britney Bestie. <<3
From: Some random australian
Subj: WE ARE STRONG IN NUMBERS
Reply to this message if you want non-UK hellmouths added to the hellmouth map. (US, AUS, JP,CAN, etc)i have one just down the road and it's really ticking me off that it isn't on the map.
Sysadmin note: feel free to assemble your own local maps but bear in mind the demons aren’t keen, we’re still trying to shake off some of the nastier curses
From: Matt Round
Subj: The Best Film You’ve Never Seen
No. 18: Aniara (2018)
Aboard a luxury spaceship taking people from a declining Earth to Mars, a woman operates the Mima system to create beautiful VR experiences of Earth’s natural past.
But the ship’s reactor gets damaged and it ends up way off course, making the Mima an increasingly important therapeutic tool as passengers struggle to cope.
That premise may vaguely ring some bells if you’ve watched Avenue 5, but you won’t find laughs here, it’s very much a bleakly serious exploration of an extreme situation. There are echoes of Silent Running and the original Solaris, leading into post-apocalyptic/Lord of the Flies/etc social breakdown.
It’s slow, good-looking sci-fi with a message, and has a little dollop of unexplained mystery thrown in that some will find frustrating (I loved it). It won’t cheer you up but, like the Mima, it will make you feel something for a while.
Aniara seems to be available to rent/buy from the usual places, or via BFI Player subscription
Next time: the children are our future
From: IDK
Subj: cool car made out of characters :D
____________________
/ | | | |
/ |_______|_________| |
_______ | | __________________
|[ ] | - | - | [ ] |
|≡≡ ___________________________________________|couldn't type a bigger circle:(
From: anonymous
Subj: Re: Silly history blog
Chris Coates wrote:
I do this: Odd This Day An attempt to find something ridiculous that has ...
I have appreciated this blog for a long time. I think it was the leech barometer that got me hooked. I had to Google it to make sure it was real.
From: Cat
Subj: Re: Website that I saw in a dream.
Pedro (Pay-droh) wrote:
P.S.: STOP POSTING CATS!!!!! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! PEOPLE ON TIKTOK SEND MEMES, ON DISCORD IT'S PICS AND MEMES! I was in a server, right? and ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just cats stuff...
I shall not stop posting cats
From: anonymous
Subj: Re: the recent 'patch'
angry daybrix player wrote:
the most recent 'patch' to daybrix is a DISASTER!!! I used to be able to get scores up to 60 or 70, that was my high ...
I am always rubbish at the Arcade mode, rarely getting past 20, but I do enjoy the Daily game. So, this update completely passed me by.
From: Kristoffer
Subj: Internet Phone Book
Do you have a personal website? Consider submitting it to the Internet Phone Book.
From: Juniper J. Jinglehexic III
Subj: JuniperCo Product Catalogue: Entry One
JUNIPERCO - TASTING THE FUTURE SINCE 2017
Have you ever had this problem? You're in a parking lot in the dark and you can't see very well- you can't find your car! Look no further than EYESKY surgery- we'll implant low-power LED lights in your eye sockets in a way that's non-damaging to your sight. You'll never have to worry about low darkvision again!
Testimonials
Hank K. - I got EYESKY a few years ago and it still works! I love how there's no charging necessary- it simply feeds off of the energy in your blood in small amounts, and is only on when your eyes are open in the dark. You can even turn it off for surprise parties!
Lila M. - I just love how the light feels on my eyes. please help! Juniper J. Jinglehexic is keeping me in a building somewhere in northern Scotland. He only skims testimonials, so I can hide messages! And for only fifty more dollars, the Deluxe fiber helps your eyes adjust to the device faster. What a deal, and what an amazing invention.
From: Captain Crackerjack
Subj: Re: ;
your average questioning human wrote:
what is the usage of ";"??? am i stupid?????
It’s for if you want your emoticon to wink, rather than having both eyes open. Thusly:
;) vs :)
From: your average answering human
Subj: Re: ;
Usually, the proper use of a semicolon is to indicate tears, ex. "I have had a bad day ;-;"
From: Remyy
Subj: Have a good day!
I really love and support you even i dont know who you are stranger. I hope you have a good day when you see this in your mailbox!!Send my luck from Japan!
From: Aoun.
Subj: Love.
Hello Fellow You. I am Aoun I would tell u that I love u no matter who u are and what u are and u have ur use and i love u <3
My discord --- noturaoun
From: Jim
Subj: Daily Sutra
If any weirdos need to hear a podcast host reading names forever, here you go: In case anyone needs to hear someone reading names forever: The Daily Sutra
Lately, I've been pairing it with the ISS livestream of the earth
From: Chungus amongus
Subj: This stupid idiot alien
This stupid alien cat creature has been around my block for a month and now it’s at my house. What do I do I hate this stupid thing
From: anonymous
Subj: HELP THE INTERNET REACH t-0!!
Hello VMail users,
The internet needs YOUR help! We must bring the counter down to t-0, one click at a time!
Help out here: T-minus
P.S. The person who makes the last click gets a cash prize...
Sysadmin note: Hmm how much cash? Needs to be enough to cover a bed with notes to roll around on, bit of a letdown if it’s 20p
From: Dingo
Subj: hotdogs
rise up hotdog lovers ^_^
From: Akira
Subj: My head, foot and brain
So today I sat on a cardboard box and felt like it was a bathtub.
Disconnecting...
Write a message for the next inbox
Web archive of past messages