15 Jul ’24
"WHAT ARE YOU SYSADMINS DOING!!!"
Inbox #58
Inbox #58: 13 new messages
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From: Sysadmin
Subj: Say hi to your neighbourhood demons
After difficult and dangerous research, we’ve pinpointed the UK’s 746 portals to the underworld and plotted them on a fancy 3D map. Please use this information with care.
In other vole news, StopOrMy.Mom now has even more amazing content, and we’ve updated DayBrix (more on that below...)
- Sysadmin
From: Chris Coates
Subj: Silly history blog
I do this: Odd This Day
An attempt to find something ridiculous that has happened in history on every day of the year - from the US newspaper owner who p*ssed in his fiancee's fireplace on 1 January 1877 to the 21 VIPs who had dinner inside the concrete iguanodon in Crystal Palace Park in 1853.
(Also takes in L Ron Hubbard conjuring up baby Satan, W B Yeats kicking Aleister Crowley doanstairs, and Piero Manzoni, the Italian artist who sh*t in some tins.)
From: angry daybrix player
Subj: the recent 'patch'
the most recent 'patch' to daybrix is a DISASTER!!!
I used to be able to get scores up to 60 or 70, that was my high average, but since the update my average has dipped down to 40!!! maybe even less!!! WHAT ARE YOU SYSADMINS DOING!!!
It is so annoying because all the blocks i get now are ones that have little diagonal pieces, it's so stupid how you guys have RUINED THIS AMAZING GAME! what did you even patch!!?? The fact that you can just stacks blocks on one side and then put a long bar on the other side, getting rid of three rows instantly?!!
THAT'S JUST CALLED STRATEGY!!! I don't even know what you did to this blessed game, BUT PLEASE REVERT THIS DUMB UPDATE!!! I don't even want to PLAY THIS GAME ANYMORE! GAAAH, I used to break through the top of the score counter on the norm! I have a high score of 120!! AND NOW I HAVE NOTHING BUT SCORES BELOW 50!!! I'VE BARELY BROKEN 45! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE REVERT THIS DUMB DUMB DUMB UPDATE!!!!!
Sysadmin note: you’ve misunderstood - people were stacking a single column down one side, so the game would always think they were in trouble and give easier pieces. We decided to put a stop to this, making Arcade tougher... but fairer! (the Daily game is unchanged)
From: Marioplays
Subj: My Website
I Have Launched A Website! Click This Link To Visit:
marioplays.straw.page
From: The Counsel of the Cults
Subj: Re: Re: Re: Praise Be The Hyphen
The Counsel of the Cults would like to extend an invitation to join to both the Ginger Clan and the Hyphen Cult. Sadly, the Girlypops must be exiled from our hallowed halls forever, as threats against other cults will not be tolerated. If you do wish to be allowed to take part in our sacred rituals, than you must rebrand as a less violent cult. (Please note that forms of violence include sticking crisps to people’s doors and telling outrageously horrible jokes.)
From: Aoun
Subj: Hello
A goose with a rose for u \<3
my dc : noturaoun
From: Pedro (Pay-droh)
Subj: Website that I saw in a dream.
I forgot what happened on that dream, but one part that stuck with me was when I stared at a screen (maybe from a cellphone) and saw this website with absolute zero context. The website was just a simple page with the following things:
- A blue header with the website's name, SLIMANDSLAD . COM.
- A form button named "CTRL + V"
- Another form button named "COPY FROM", with a planet icon at the side.
Not sure what it was about, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with those online tools that you can paste things and everything. The "COPY FROM" button would copy something from websites.
Maybe someday I will recreate the website itself, without any functionality whatsoever. Just for display, because making it not do anything makes it better, like you weren't supposed to be there. Happy [ultra late] pride month!
P.S.: STOP POSTING CATS!!!!! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! PEOPLE ON TIKTOK SEND MEMES, ON DISCORD IT'S PICS AND MEMES! I was in a server, right? and ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just cats stuff...
PlayStation 2: Reminder to myself - next issue, tell people about that concept imagined, related to "The Good Place" (people will steal? I hope not).
From: your average questioning human
Subj: ;
what is the usage of ";"??? am i stupid?????
From: Matt Round
Subj: The Best Film You’ve Never Seen
No. 17: November (2017)
If you’ve been itching for some black and white Estonian fantasy horror, then today’s your lucky day!
November is set in a village where you might bump into werewolves, spirits or even the Devil himself, and simply surviving the harsh winter requires magic and cunning.
There’s a plot involving unrequited love, but story is secondary to taking in this bizarre world and the beautiful way it’s shot.
It hooked me right at the start with the introduction of a kratt, basically a sentient supernatural robot. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen magic portrayed in quite that way before, as an everyday mechanical technology for peasants to get things done (of course, there’s a price to pay, fancy tech isn’t cheap). Later, a kratt is made from snow and remembers what its water has seen through the ages.
I should probably go on about German expressionism or something but in all honesty the one thing it stirred memories of was The Singing Ringing Tree, a 1957 East German TV series that confused and unsettled UK kids in the ’70s.
Anyway, it’s a subtitled black and white film, and you might find some parts tricky to follow, but it’s packed full of ideas and images you’ve never seen before. Give a dark fairytale a try.
November is available on Blu-ray/DVD, and seems to be streamable in the US but not UK
Next time: things go a bit off-course
From: anonymous
Subj: How many bears are there in the world?
Like,look at this:Tigers have an official count, lions do as well.There are 3 trillion trees in the world, like how did they count that!If they can count 3 million million trees,they can definitely count big, furry predators.Like how hard is it supposed to be.I know us humans can do it, because we have literally counted how many licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop, no. of stars in the milky way galaxy, no. of galaxies itself, so why cant we ount this.If anyone finds how many are there, please tell me.
From: anonymous
Subj: my dog looks like this
has it got the rabies?
From: anonymous
Subj: Re: Re: quick question y'all
Captain Crackerjack wrote:
On first glance I read that as hermit crab and I’m not gonna lie, I was all HELLS YES. But deep down I know I can never be a hermit crab in this life and it makes me sad :(
No one's stopping you from crawling round with your arse wedged into a giant shell
From: Ha Thu
Subj: Bday?
Hi, will this send in my bday, 23/9?
Sysadmin note: no
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