03 Aug â23
"they have kazoos"
Inbox #46
Inbox #46: 13 new messages
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From: Sysadmin @VOLEwtf
Subj: Ba-na-na-na-na-n-na-naaa, ba-na-n-na-naa, hey, Jude
Banana skin is, undoubtedly, the most satisfying surface to draw on with a ballpoint pen. If youâre not nodding in agreement, youâve clearly never tried it.
Weâve set up a gallery highlighting this important art form:
Biro + Banana = Art
Anyone can create a fruit-based masterpiece, take a photo and upload it, so get doodling!
- Vmail Sysadmin
From: cowjam
Subj: Tanks!
When I was a teenager in the late 90s my mates believed that there were a load of abandoned Russian tanks in the Black Forest, and you could just go and take one if you wanted.
Anyone else hear this? Any truth to it?
From: anonymous
Subj: review of my music class
10/10 they have kazoos
From: anonymous
Subj: Joke
Why does 0=1? cos 0=1
From: Your local human being
Subj: I'm bored tell me a joke either dark or normal
I'll start:
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?...
... a porcupine!!
From: anonymous
Subj: Re: we have such spines to show you
pob wrote:
every time i pass this cactus i wonder if i stuck my face in i'd come out looking like pinhead
do it
From: Alison
Subj: Re: we have such spines to show you
My cat must have jumped on a cactus- he came home one day looking like this and has never been the same
From: anonymous
Subj: Re: The Best Film Youâve Never Seen
Matt Round wrote:
No. 5: Seconds (1966) This really shouldnât be an obscure cult film. John Frankenheimer is a famous director whoâd ...
Rock Hudson didn't die he had plastic surgery to look like an old banker and lives in the suburbs
From: Matt Round
Subj: The Best Film Youâve Never Seen
No. 6: Evolution (2015)
This isnât the 2001 sci-fi comedy of the same title starring David Duchovny, or a Dragonball film, or part of the Underworld series, or the 2021 Hungarian drama.
Itâs the French sci-fi horror film about a young boy living by the sea who thinks heâs seen a dead body in the water. Gradually it becomes clear that this is a somewhat creepy coastal community; no arcades or ice cream vans, but they do have a nightmarish hospital and weird rituals on the beach.
You wonât see a more beautiful horror film, from the volcanic rocks and white houses to that dingy hospital, whether bathed in sunshine or a murky greenish light. Thereâs a plain minimalism to the clothing and decor, but weâre clearly somewhere near the present day in a world somewhere near ours.
As usual, I donât want to spoil the surprises and bewilderment. This is very much a film that doesnât spoon-feed, you have to go with it, pick up whatever clues you can and accept the unknowns it leaves you with. At its core, itâs about unsettling adults projecting a sense of normality onto children experiencing the bizarre and horrific.
On Rotten Tomatoes its audience score is a ludicrous 44%, possibly the lowest Iâve spotted for a film I really like. In the words of Super Hans, âPeople like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you canât trust people, Jeremy.â
Evolution (2015) is on Shudder and BFI Player, or can be rented from Amazon or AppleTV, itâs not hard to find.
Next time: is there anybody there..?
From: Fatih
Subj: chess
let's play chess 1.e4
lichess account:elfyus4
From: Uhm
Subj: Re: it's been almost a month since the last vmail
StrangeRTY7 wrote:
I don't know what I was thinking Leaving my vmail behind Now I suffer the curse and now I am blind With all this anger, ...
Omg I love u for this is must have taken so long
From: Pizza Lover
Subj: Cost-cutting Hater
This cost 95p, how bad do you think it'll be??
From: Feathers
Subj: I wonder
Itâs been a sh-t week. A couple of sh-t weeks actually. So please send me your best comfort food recipes? Iâm going to comfort cook when I get them. Thanks. In the meantime I will hug my dog.
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