28 Feb ’22

"much like making a sandwich in the dark"

Inbox #4: 21 new messages

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From: Sysadmin @VOLEwtf
Subj: What’s the weirdest thing you own?

As an experiment, here’s a question for you all:

What’s the weirdest thing you own?
Reply to this, upload a pic and tell everyone about it.

(Please do keep sending in other nonsense & replies though)

- Vmail Sysadmin


From: Kairo
Subj: fгรЯёδ




From: Alistair Coleman
Subj: FURY

Ron is innocent

Not gonna lie, you really need Angry People in Local Newspapers in your life. Twitter: @angrypiln


From: Strategisk hund
Subj: How many points did you get?

How many points did you get on the last quiz?

0 points - Non strategisk person
10 points - Non strategisk dog
25 points - Maybe strategisk person (has a loggbok)
35 points - Maybe strategisk dog (has a loggbok)
60 points - Strategisk dog (has ph)
75 points - Strategisk person (has ph & loggbok)
85 points - VERY strategisk hund (has ph & loggbok)


From: anonymous
Subj: Re: How much strategy do you have?



From: Kelly S
Subj: Re: How much strategy do you have?

Strategisk hund wrote:

How many points do you have?



From: Kyle
Subj: Re: How much strategy do you have?


Strategisk hund wrote:

How many points do you have?



From: im a doggo
Subj: Re: How much strategy do you have?

doggo with human

Strategisk hund wrote:

How many points do you have?

im a doggo


From: Uncle Henry's Classic Family Diner
Subj: Is your computer on?

Now, Occasionally I find myself wondering, is my computer on? Of course, I could get it analyzed by a technician like others, but I don't have the budget for that. Thankfully, www.ismycomputeron.com fixes all of my problems!


From: Everyone's Favourite Jim @JimmerUK
Subj: When is an NFT not an NFT?

Ricardo Autobahn?

There's a plethora of new NFTs hitting the market every day, and people are making some serious money. I wanted to jump on the bandwagon by creating my own generative art but, in typical JimmerUK style, missed the point and made it free, therefore cementing my fate to living in abject poverty.

I present to you the NANFT! (Not an NFT).

@NotanNFT1 is home to a twitterbot that generates NFT-style images, choosing elements at random and simply mushing them together hoping it produces something palatable, much like making a sandwich in the dark. People - you - can then claim those images for your very selves, becoming the proud owner of a piece of digital art, just like the cool kids. All without forking over a single penny/cent/0.1eth.

To claim one, all you have to do is reply to the particular twitter post that features an image you like, with “I stake my claim!” Then right-click and save.

Kerblammo! It's yours!

'What's the catch?' you roar. Aha! There's always a catch. Also, here's strepsil. The images are released under a CC BY-SA licence. That means you can do whatever you like, copy it, redistribute it, adapt it, even commercially, but... you must give credit and anything you create also has the same freedoms applied.

This also means that multiple people can claim a single image. It's not just yours, it's everyone's. Digital communism, baby!

My current favourite game is trying to find ones that could be people I recognise. I believe the one featured above looks like prolific UK chart-topper, Ricardo Autobahn. You can see it in all it's glory here.

@NotanNFT1 is a work in progress, new things are being added frequently (as least, that's the plan), if you have any suggestions, why not let me know.

So, What are you waiting for? Follow @NotanNFT1 and snap up all the NANFTs you can eat.

Or, if you're still not sure what an NFT is and why it's bad, read this


From: Thumper
Subj: Re: Monkey hand, who wouldn't want one?

purple pineapple wrote:

What would you ask for with a monkey's hand if humanity has 5 years left? The wish for more years for humanity is not worth it

The rest of the monkey.


From: Donald
Subj: Re: Monkey hand, who wouldn't want one?

purple pineapple wrote:

What would you ask for with a monkey's hand if humanity has 5 years left? The wish for more years for humanity is not worth it

The problem with the monkey’s paw is it gives you what you want but not how you want it so I would ask for all the ‘great’ dictators, Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot etc. In the hopes they come back as therapists, pro BLM and advocates of love. That or all the dinosaurs.


From: someone that you might not know
Subj: something


so im doing this in art and i need some votes if its good or if its bad and plz be honest.


From: Martin Belam
Subj: Untopical quiz

I write a silly quiz each week for the Guardian and you might enjoy it


From: mark
Subj: Re: Re: Re: shopping list

mal wrote:

This is all wrong. the big petit filou would just be called a filou. the one that will come in a tub the size of a KFC bucket, now, that would be a grand filou.

My wife insists on calling McVitie's Cheddars 'Big Mini Cheddars' and on reflection she is absolutely right.


From: Finn the Doggo
Subj: I has bone.


This is my happy face.


From: Stories+
Subj: the apocalypse - vol. 1

DAY BEFORE IT STARTED - December 17, 2011
In a lab miles into the desert sat a military testing base. Inside was a singular scientist, trapped in a room with one exit. They had trapped him in here, he had no choice, he didn't want to die. They wanted to see if they could create some sort of virus that would determine if the world (the different countries, not everyone bunched up) was great enough. The virus failed, if it had succeeded, it would've been deployed in about 8 years, give or take. This scientist was the only one that wasn't infected, he was immune to the airborne so as long he avoided them, it would work. He sent one message to the military over a walkie-talkie. The message was, "It failed, it failed. The virus is going to start coming after you. All of you. THE CIVILIANS! Get everyone to a safe haven as soon as you can! Don't stop! Always broadcast your safe zone, NO MATTER WHAT!" The guard on duty that was supposed to be listening to him was sleeping, this stuff always seems to happen. He dreamt about how stereotypical he was: smoker who never quit, a drinker who drank a lil' too much and quit, and his wife wanting him to change professions. Needless to say, she should've convinced him to do the last thing... This all could've been avoided.



From: Mr. cheese
Subj: Cheese👃🧀


So I was enjoying France when I stumbled upon a cheese shop and I was like bruh it's me brothers so I went to join them and I fell asleep and I was with bob

/  \  

And he was like hello Mr cheese and he rescued me. He told me that I was going to get eaten so I am very thankful.


From: Gregory P. Thurgood III
Subj: Limericks about cheese

There was a young lady from cheese
Who really was quite a tease
She'd wink and she'd smile
And she'd cheese all the while
Until finally she got a disease

There was a young man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cheese in a bucket
But his friends, they would say
"You should put it away!
It's getting all mouldy and funky!"

There was a young girl from Peru
Who really loved cheese, but not much else too.
She would sit all day
In her cheese whey
Until her skin turned a cheese-y hue!

There once was a cheese named Gouda
It was said by some that he was a studa
He got lots of action
From all the ladies in town
And all of them said he was quite gooda!

There was a young girl from Babybel
Who really was quite a rebel
She ate all her cheese
And never would please
The Babybel company said oh well

There was once a cheese named cheddar,
It was said that he was a terror.
He would often get into fights,
And sometimes he would bite.
But overall he was a lot of fun, The kind of cheese you could really love.


From: The letter D
Subj: Garfield


I was led to this delightful newsletter by the charming I Hate Mondays podcast about Garfield, the indolent cat who sprung from the fevered brain of Jim Davis.

I also have a cat, and while also indolent, his remarkable feature is that he only has three legs. This doesn't slow him down or seem to impede him in any way.

He has no interest in lasagna and appears indifferent to Mondays.

Just wanted to wish you all a lovely day. Thanks for listening.


PS Also to recommend the podcast.


From: John
Subj: Stop!




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