27 Sep ’22

"the real definition of ‘cool’, daddy-o"

Inbox #26: 16 new messages

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From: Sysadmin @VOLEwtf
Subj: Drinks all round

Crisp Sandwich Day mugs

It’s less than a month to go until Crisp Sandwich Day, so why not prepare to celebrate it in style?

Get yourself a special commemorative mug, perfect for sipping tea/coffee while enjoying a tasty crisp sandwich (we’ve added 0% markup, and at the time of writing there’s a 30%-off coupon on the site).

Maybe you could even use one for all the cocktails described below...

- Vmail Sysadmin


From: Mark "the man" Mann
Subj: UK recession shopping list

  • f*** all because we're all broke

Sorry for the Politics


From: Captain Crackerjack
Subj: Re: listen up, losers

The Style Dictator wrote:

... - Rainbow bagels - Turducken - Foie gras - Peanut butter and jelly with onions - Soup made with live frogs - Cake balls

The fact that soup made with live frogs is ‘out’ makes me want to eat it even more. That’s the real definition of ‘cool’, daddy-o.


From: Werriam Mebster
Subj: Word of the Day!

Clamster (Generated by Craiyon/Dall-e Mini)

Word of the Day: Clamster
Def: A relatively common animal most commonly found living in the American Piney Woods, although occasionally found inside people’s walls, AC units, and rarely, the inside of their brains. A member of the taxonomic order of venerodentiadictionarium.
Synonym: Clam Ham


From: RBM2010
Subj: Re: Re: from the future in 3000

Captain Crackerjack wrote:

Ok but I need to know if you live underwater

no we actually live at the center of the earth bc an asteroid landed on earth and it had a species that was zombie-like and we had 2 go into hiding.


From: JM
Subj: Re: My dog

Feathers wrote:

... night. When she ate a whole alive snail AND it’s shell. I threw up a little in my mouth. Puppies are gross. The end.

Mine ate a massive spider this morning, the little legend.


From: The_cold_stare
Subj: Are they still in The Biz?

Still alive at the time of writing

Wah wah waah waaaaah. So starts the theme tune that our latest subject starred in throughout the eighties and the start of the nineties. Well it was more like bah nah baah buuh or was it dwih dwuh dwoi dwoi…So what happened when the end of school bell went for our star? Was it straight onto Uni and a well-paid job or was it off to Maccy D’s to serve the closest to cold fries that they could manage – as is the McDonalds law?

Number 9: Brian Capron

Who is Brian Capron?

Brian is well known for playing “Mr Hopwood” in Grange Hill, the serial killer “Richard Hillman” in Coronation Street and “appalling dancer” in Strictly Come Dancing

Is he still in the Biz?

You think this one is easy right? High profile actor who appeared in high profile TV over a number of decades. Still working, right? Well, he went from jobbing actor before Grange Hill to jobbing actor after it. He also has a CV which is familiar to us all – The Bill, Casualty, Doctors – and then after his 181 episode run as regular character, mild-mannered psycho Richard Hillman, he got the big one - Strictly, the one that everyone wants because afterwards you are suddenly in great demand. Even If you are booted off in the first elimination week (as he was). He later said it was because he had the flu. Hmm, symptoms of flu: tired, achy, two left feet.

Finally we reach iMDB’s last entry in 2020 but unable to believe he had gone from the industry I did some digging and he is still acting on stage, his next project is panto at Bridlington this year as Hillman the Henchman (Typecasting be damned) in Snow White

So, Richard is still in the Biz after all, which is more than can be said about all the children.

Next time: Back to the usual lack of planning. Someone will come into my head at some point, probably


From: Mr Help
Subj: Re: The best cocktails

Captain Crackerjack wrote:

OK, so objectively the best cocktail is the Negroni (all alcohol, nice bitter taste, looks badass), but I'd be interested to know what other people's opinions on the best cocktails are, and why.

Yeah Negronis are bang on - there’s something of the night about them. I can’t decide if I prefer Negronis or Manhattans. Good rye whisky, vermouth, bitters, twist of lemon. You can keep your mascherano cherry not bothered about that. Give it a whirl and let me know. I make a large one in a tumbler at home, not one of those pesky martini glasses. 50/50 whisky and vermouth, many drops of bitters. 50+ stirs with plenty of ice. Rocket fuel.


From: bruno
Subj: Re: The best cocktails

My current favorite is the Macunaima, invented in the Boca de Ouro bar in the 2010s, which has been spreading across menus in São Paulo and the rest of Brazil.

It's been described as a modern entry into the list of Brazilian classic cocktails (alongside the world-famous Caipirinha, and other local delicacies such as Caju Amigo, Bombeirinho and Maria-Mole).

It is served in a small barriquinha or americano glass, usually reserved for rounds of beer in our local cheap botecos.

The recipe:

45 ml unaged cachaça
25 ml simple syrup
20 ml lime juice
7 ml Fernet Branca

Mix in a shaker with abundant ice, double strain on small cup. Serve with no ice, no straw and no decorations. (Extra credit: place cup over a paper napkin instead of a proper coaster.)

It has quite the unique taste! You'd expect it to be a less exciting Caipirinha looking at the recipe, but the Fernet Branca is working wonders, giving it a minty, herbal base note. It is sour, refreshing, and yummy with a very high replay factor in both hot and cold days.


From: Agrajag
Subj: Re: The best cocktails

Negroni is great, but the kind for me is whiskey sours. It's the equivalent of that one screwdriver you always have handy. You can make it pretty much at any setting and it's such a low effort to raise that straight whiskey to a new level.


From: JM
Subj: Re: The best cocktails

The best cocktail I had was made by someone who evidently had never made a whiskey sour before, because it was amazing, and no other whiskey sour has come close.


Subj: Re: The best cocktails

I'm going to go for a Gin and Tonic. Nothing too fancy either, none of this "artisanal" muck. Why? Tastes nice and provides protection against malaria.


From: Matt
Subj: Re: The best cocktails

The BEST cocktail is the "Oh What?", named after a restaurant in Lisbon where I have shamelessly ripped it off from.

  • 1 measure vodka
  • 1 measura cachaca
  • Juice of one lime
  • Small bunch of fresh coriander (stalks and leaves)
  • Fresh chili to taste
  • Lime zest
  • soda water

Blitz the first five ingredients together. Strain through muslin. Serve over ice, lengthened with soda water to taste.


From: Cap'n Peacock
Subj: Re: The best cocktails

Vodka Martini (wet, with an olive, served as cold as possible) is probably my favourite for simplicity and functionality. But an excellent one with surprising depth is the Teresa:

25ml Vodka
25ml Campari
25ml Lime Juice (freshly squeezed)
10ml Creme de Cassis

Shake over ice and strain into a martini glass (or double strain if it really matters to you that you get all the lime pulp out).

Flavours hit you in waves with each sip, delightful!


From: Crom Tuise
Subj: Re: The best cocktails

Cocktail movie poster

The best cocktail is obviously Cocktail starring Tom Cruise, love the bit where he juggles bottles of Um Bongo and Lucozade to impress Thora Hird


From: Auaro
Subj: What happens after the end of the universe?

I want to hear your opinions on what happens when the universe stops expanding.



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