mystery object mini-inbox

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Inbox #10: 9 new messages

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From: Sysadmin @VOLEwtf
Subj: Re: mystery object

anonymous wrote:

Any idea?? Been in the family for years, we think it might be an old CD player from the 1950's

This special mini-inbox is dedicated to discovering The Truth behind the mystery.

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From: Henry
Subj: Re: mystery object

I'm fairly sure it's an angle grinder for kids, before the days of health and safety you had to be at least 12 years old to work in heavy construction

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From: nolan
Subj: Re: mystery object

nope, pretty sure that’s a can opener. you know, for paint cans?

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From: Captain Crackerjack
Subj: Re: mystery object

Ha, you idiot. It's one of those things that dentists put on their hat when they're looking into your mouth to see how foetid your teeth are. I think they reflect light or something, which is useful as mouths are generally dark, unless you've got that disease that makes your tonsils glow like light bulbs.

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From: The Sandwich Thief
Subj: Re: mystery object

I believe this is the Intrinsic Relic used by Hagglebeard the Fearsome to slay the Upside-Down Kraken back in his glory days. After retiring he must have gifted it to one of your ancestors.

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From: Feathers
Subj: Re: mystery object

It's for painting the pinstripes on suits....

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From: The_cold_stare
Subj: Re: mystery object

I think the clue is in the word printed on the handle, Goodfellas. This is clearly a mob torture instrument used to slice snitches fingers off

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From: Mark "the man" Mann
Subj: Re: mystery object

It won Robot Wars in 2002 smashed up some kids shite robot and made them cry

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From: anonymous
Subj: Re: mystery object

s3x thing for s3xy times

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