24 Jun ā24
"I can never be a hermit crab in this life"
Inbox #57
Inbox #57: 33 new messages
Write a message for the next inbox
From: Sysadmin
Subj: The nonsense never stops
Weāve launched our first spin-off site!
StopOrMy.Mom is the internetās no.1 Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot fansite, featuring news, info and amazing fanart.
Thereās also going to be a podcast called Stop! Or My Mom Will Mute...
- Sysadmin
From: teheheheh
Subj: ................
bru allergic to animals
Sysadmin note: more pet pics in this inbox, you might want to take an antihistamine before scrolling
From: Lard buyer
Subj: THEYāRE ALL OUT OF LARD :(
THEY ARE ALL OUT OF LARD :(
From: john busy.
Subj: Re: the end
??? wrote:
the end is near and yet so far on 2025 it shall strike on may 15th 2:54 am BE THERE at 1:00
i have plans can we reschedule it?
From: anonymous
Subj: Re: the end
actually the world is going to end because of all the girlypops
From: Rando guy
Subj: Re: the end
UTC, AGC, GMT, CST, you canāt just be insane and say random times without giving a timezone
From: Cal from Cal's Corrupt Corporation
Subj: Re: New Hair Removal Cream
Void wrote:
I have contacted you to remind you to buy our new formula of our Hair Removal cream.
Have you recently seen this commercial? This is a fraudulent rip-off of my all-new, death defying, (definitely) original idea, of creating our copyrighted Cal's Craaaazy Creme(TM) brand new for your very eyes! This amazing product contains enough Cyanide, Calcium, and Curium to knock the hair right off any of your needs. From Cathedrals to Cats to even [Uncle Charlie???]. This creative product has all the functions to satisfy your cash, with utter trash.
CAL'S CORPORATION IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY DEATH, CANCER, OR ANY OTHER NEGATIVE HEALTH RECEIVED WITHIN 50 METERS OF THIS PRODUCT. IT IS NOT RECOMMENDED FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE PREGNANT, TAKING MEDICINE, OR ANYONE WITHOUT SEVERAL CENTIMETERS OF LEAD IN THEIR SKIN. CONSUME THIS PRODUCT AT YOUR OWN RISK.
If you call within the next ten minutes, you will receive a second one absolutely free! That's right, if you call within the next ten minutes, you will get half off your next Cal's Capable (or was it corrupt, I can never remember) Corporation product! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to the hospital
(Hey, Captain Sysadmin-fellow, could you be a pal and put the image at the end of this message? Thanks comrade)
(Sysadmin note: sorry, no)
From: Cheesus
Subj: Re: what is real
Friend wrote:
... why why why i dont get it maybe its a sign to allow the cheese to consume me or maybe its a warning i dont know anymore
Hello, Friend
I believe you should let the cheese consume and convert. If you are willing to allow yourself to be taken by the cheese, I will reward you with cheese wheels of unfathomable size. I may also have another offer for you. If you are willing to allow the cheese to consume, I will best upon you one of the gratest honors that one may receive. I am willing to name you The High Priest of Chaddaronia. Henceforth, if you take me up on this offer, I will reward one of your own to be knighted in your honor.
I await your response, Friend
-Cheesus
From: King Cheesus of Cheddaronia
Subj: Re: Re: Gratings
I am impressed with your knowledge of all that is grate and cheesy. You are a very wise individual. I have a gouda sense that you may have excellent taste. If you should have another with such a taste equivalent to yourself, I will allow you to appoint them Royal Chef of Cheddaronia. If you do not find someone I am willing to offer the position to you. I have many positions to fill in the humble Kingdom of Cheddaronia.
I await your confident and swift reply, Fellow Cheesian
King Cheesus of Cheddaronia
From: Kendra
Subj: Re: Re: Gratings
Pardon me, sir or mam'n, but I do believe that I'm actually the self-proclaimed Cheese Lord. I have been the Lord of the Cheese, for the past decade. The citizens of Cheesedom, would not be pleased or content with your declaration. Please refrain from referring to yourself as the Cheese Lord. My best regards, Kendra
From: Hoochalobster
Subj: Re: Cheese is overrated
anonymous wrote:
Cheese especially one that stretches is so overrated, I do not know how it doesn't trigger a gag reflex for most people, queit strange ain't it? :s
My daughter once said she wished there was stretchy milk. We asked, āwhat would you do with stretchy milk?!ā and she replied, āstretch it, then drink it.ā
Sysadmin note: Sounds very sensible, can you ask her to sort out the above power struggle? Weāve got our hands full with all the cults
From: Matt Round
Subj: The Best Film Youāve Never Seen
No. 16: Journey to the Far Side of the Sun/DoppelgƤnger (1969)
Iāve never been into the Andersonsā puppet - sorry, Supermarionation - shows, but loved Space: 1999 and UFO was OK so this film of theirs felt familiar and comfortable.
Following a gadgety spy sequence with Herbert Lom and stylish titles, itās revealed that a previously-hidden planet has been discovered on the far side of the sun, so of course a missionās launched to it.
But not until halfway through the film; thereās an awful lot of arguing and preparation to get through. From there, things go badly for the astronauts, with a twist thatās daft but entertaining enough for me to not want to spoil it.
Patrick Wymark chews the scenery in a fun way and the spaceship model work and sets are decentā¦ but it came out the year after 2001: A Space Odyssey and Planet of the Apes, which dealt with some similar themes. The bar had been raised way out of reach.
At its worst itās like a dull episode of UFO; at its best itās an interestingly bleak Space: 1999 story. As with so many films covered in this series, I canāt claim itās objectively great, but it stubbornly stuck with me and I enjoyed watching it recently, so perhaps you will too?
Journey to the Far Side of the Sun doesnāt seem to be available for streaming, but you can find it on Bluray, DVD or dodgier parts of the internet.
Next time: WITCHCRAFT!
From: Your favorite mother
Subj: Re: Knowledge
McFartypants wrote:
Cold toilet seats and warm toilet seats are both uncomfortable. There is no in-between.
Actually I like my toilets how like my water. Room temp
From: Pedro (pronouced as Pay-droh)
Subj: Pixels fonts created by me!
Hello again, Vmail! Once again I'm here, writing about unusual things!
This time, I want to show you a pixel font that I created in my freetime, because I don't have a PC to make vector ones. You can do WHATEBER you want with them, because they are PUBLIC DOMAIN!! They are 2, actually, one named "Pixarielster", and the other named "Pixarielgster", the ONLY difference between two is the lowercase "g", they have different names because... The website that I used to make them would use the name in the file, so I didn't wanted to put (alternative g) on it. The website that used to create them is BitFontMaker2
Pixarielster and Pixarielgster can be found here.
I don't know if a bold version if obtainable. Sorry, but I hope that is font will still be useful for anyone! By the way, I have a Neocities page where I plan to showcase this sort of stuff! Still in the works.
What is it? The message is too long? OK, I get it now, no more beans...
Bye, have a great month!
P.S.: Hope that this message gets accepted, because it's 29/5/2024 10pm at the time of finishing writing this...
From: Captain Crackerjack
Subj: Re: quick question y'all
Ć wrote:
does anyone else out there wanna run away from everyone and everything and cut all of your relationships and just start a new life as a hermit and maybe even try to rebuild society as we know it because it has all become a little too much ?
On first glance I read that as hermit crab and Iām not gonna lie, I was all HELLS YES. But deep down I know I can never be a hermit crab in this life and it makes me sad :(
From: Net02gb
Subj: Awesome Mobile Games You Can Play In 2024! (Edition 2)
Hey! Firstly, sorry to the Vmail admin that probably had to add my message in the last second. I delayed too much my Vmail message.
Well, this is the second edition of Awesome Mobile Games You Can Play In 2024! In these Vmails, I recommend some "hidden gems" that almost no one talks about. The last edition can be seen on vole.wtf/vmail/archive/~55/ It's a good way to discover two mobile games you can play on your phone.
Now, for the first one, I can say Cookie Clicker is not bad for "idle" players.
Cookie Clicker was a browser game that was released on August 8, 2013, got a Steam version (September 1, 2021), and an Android version on October 5, 2020. However, recently (May 26), it got a big update! New buildings, new visuals, characters, etc. So for those who already played it, I suggest check it out!
The game's objective is simple: you click the cookie, you get a cookie. Then, with enough cookies, you buy upgrades, buildings, to raise your CPS (Cookies Per Second).
It's recommended for those who like tycoon games or people that are too busy to play games on their phones. When you have at least 1 building, you get cookies even when the game is closed, so if you take a big break and come back, you will get cookies that the buildings made.
There's no compatibility with Play Games, but you can Import/Export your game's save file to continue playing even after you delete the game. (The mobile save document will not work on browser version!)
Now, the second game is an endless runner one. Chiki's Chase is a game about animals running to their way home. Once you reach your home, you can continue or rest a bit.
You unlock characters and abilities the better you get at the game. Recently, it had an update that now let you get the premium gems for free (with an ad). This makes a massive impact because the developer get some money, and us players have some help on the game.
This game has compatibility with Play Games, so you may have your game saved on the cloud. There are also some achievements for those XP hunters!
And now I'm tuning off! I better send this quickly, the poor Vmail admin will not add this message if I get too late! Until next edition!
From: the1996
Subj: Sometimes, I dream about cheese.
"Sometimes, I dream about cheese" is a random quote from the 2004 game Half Life 2. It is mostly used as a completely random thing to say, designed to confuse people and distract them from the current subject. This phrase, for whatever reason, stuck with me. And I realized, this wasn't put in to be humorous or random, it's to depict exactly how controlled the people are. The combine have taken everything. They dream of cheese because it's the only plausible thing left to dream about. They don't dream of freedom or a world without the combine because that's too fantastic, even for the dream world. Cheese though... Maybe.
From: muahahahaha
Subj: Re: sanwich door
Warren P.O Tato wrote:
Holy moley guys I found a crisp sandwich attached to my bathroom door?! Any ideas
on how it got there???
It was probably the crisp man, did u discover this right after 4:00 pm?
From: googusman
Subj: sysadmemes
Sysadmin note: accurate
From: anonymous
Subj: so sad
The struggles faced by our news industry also seem to be true for the evil goblin kingdom, nowadats I have no idea what's happening with sludge pits
From: viafia
Subj: random thing that happened today lol
my classmates rn
From: khasdeidi
Subj: 9 string Ibanez, Les Paul Classic, and USA Stratocatser at Twin Town Guitars.
An edited group of photos of me playing some guitars down at Twin Town in Minneapolis.
From: You are sadly mistaken
Subj: Re: Re: Praise Be The Hyphen
Britney Bestie wrote:
This is not so sparkle slay. As the official representative of the Girlypop cult, I think that there can only be one cult in the Vmail society. The girlies will be slaying (you) forever. just you wait <3
As a member of the Ginger Clan, we stand with the Hyphens
From: larry
Subj: is this a cat cult
half the archived posts are either cat photos, math equations, or games on the site. tbh I kinda regret submitting the first half of the bee movie on this thing. HOWEVER if this is a cat cult, i ain't complaining
From: jenker
Subj: my opinion on postal movie
in short, itās good, funny and interesting. it has a lot of stuff that is perfectly portrayed from original sequel, which is good. i donāt know how to describe it's violentness (?), probably mid. in minuses - itās kind of cheap and long. but it was fun to see that uncle dave here is like a god with his own bible and everything :D
overall rating: 4/5
From: Ellio
Subj: Re: Cat
Raymond the silly wrote:
I FOUND A SILLY STRAY CAT.
Ah same, I have a Kitten. Stray Kitten from the sewer I found while walking to the grocery.
And now, she attempts to solve world hunger. Ooh I'm so proud of her.
From: ZÉphyŠÆŠÆ
Subj: hamster
this erm cool fish i found i think idk
From: Lucky (from Lucky Charms)
Subj: Bird
Thatās my bird. He likes to attack me and is currently hanging off of my face. I love him. Heās so silly. His name is Derby.
From: Person
Subj: Photogenic cat
Look at this little demon of a cat with most innocent name of Cally <3
From: ShortCat
Subj: Majestic cat
Please feel free to look at this majestic cat. Photo quality isn't the best but you can still feel the AURA coming from within this beauty of a cat. (No upside down cat this time)
From: bird man
Subj: im a bird
i just found out im a bird
i am a bird
im a bird
look
im a bird
im a literal bird
birds can FLY, IM A BIRD
IM A BIRD
I CAN FLY BECAUSE IM A BIRD
im a bird
i am a bird
look
im a bird
yeah
im a bird
i think
idk
i have bird fingers
and bird hair
so
that means
i am a bird
IM A BIRD
i think im a bird
im a bird
yeah ok
pineapple tree
im a bird
are you a bird?
From: John Liam
Subj: Summer
Have a good summer break yāall
From: matthew
Subj: ice ice baby
I like ice ice baby that's my fav song
Disconnecting...
Write a message for the next inbox
Web archive of past messages